"If you're not first...you're last"
Welcome folks to the 2008 season preview of the Busch University Latte's. The Latte's are geared up and ready to go after an offseason filled with turmoil and disappointment. Most people would consider a trip to the Conference Championship Keg Bowl a successful freshman season for the previously named Anheuser-Busch University. Not so much if you are one of the richest men in the entire world, former owner August A. Busch. 
AB University came out firing during their rookie season, starting off with an impressive 6-2 record. However, AB managed to sneak into the playoffs and make it all the way to the promised land, only to disappoint every Budweiser fan in America.
Seconds after the championship was lost, AB University took a sharp left turn onto the long bumpy road that was its offseason. Auggie Busch immediately threw his 24 oz. can of Budweiser Chelada, causing fans around the spilled beer to immediately vomit at the thought of actually having a sip of what can only be described as "the worst idea Budweiser has ever came up with." Auggie screamed "I WANT PERFECTION. THIS IS HORSESHIT. IF YOU'RE NOT FIRST...YOU'RE LAST!" Two weeks later, President of the school and ex-Patriot great Ty Law opened a letter from August A. Busch & Co. revoking all funding of the program and even taking his company's name off of the school itself. GM Dave Celli did the only thing he knew how to do, visit the most famous fanclub that every college student should be a part of...The Busch Light Fan Club. The fan club jumped all over the chance to fund a collegiate football team, with the funds coming from every recycled Busch Light bottle and can in America (and we all know that can amount to A LOT of money). The fan club determined the new nickname of the school to be the Busch University Latte's, sticking it to the former owner.
As for the 2008 season, the Latte's look to be in great shape as many of their young stars are back for their sophomore season. The team has a young core of receivers led by new Captain Braylon Edwards. Dwayne Bowe looks to have a great season (if Brodie "I'm not sure I was cut out for the NFL" Croyle can get him the ball) and Brandon Marshall will look to repeat his impressive rookie season, assuming he stays out of jail. Rookie sensation Adrian Peterson looks to have another great season being the only RB on BU that can actually gain more than 3 yards a carry. And just like an old arcade game being plugged into the wall for the first time in three years, Pacman Jones looks to chomp his way into the starting D and replace the famous former captain Mike Vrabel, that was so ashamed of losing and even more so about having a team named after one of the cheapest beers around left the team for greener pastures...or so he thinks. If Derek Anderson can take some advil and get on the field, or former starter Jay Cutler can get over his cookie addiction...this team might just see two championship games in two years.
Seconds after the championship was lost, AB University took a sharp left turn onto the long bumpy road that was its offseason. Auggie Busch immediately threw his 24 oz. can of Budweiser Chelada, causing fans around the spilled beer to immediately vomit at the thought of actually having a sip of what can only be described as "the worst idea Budweiser has ever came up with." Auggie screamed "I WANT PERFECTION. THIS IS HORSESHIT. IF YOU'RE NOT FIRST...YOU'RE LAST!" Two weeks later, President of the school and ex-Patriot great Ty Law opened a letter from August A. Busch & Co. revoking all funding of the program and even taking his company's name off of the school itself. GM Dave Celli did the only thing he knew how to do, visit the most famous fanclub that every college student should be a part of...The Busch Light Fan Club. The fan club jumped all over the chance to fund a collegiate football team, with the funds coming from every recycled Busch Light bottle and can in America (and we all know that can amount to A LOT of money). The fan club determined the new nickname of the school to be the Busch University Latte's, sticking it to the former owner.
As for the 2008 season, the Latte's look to be in great shape as many of their young stars are back for their sophomore season. The team has a young core of receivers led by new Captain Braylon Edwards. Dwayne Bowe looks to have a great season (if Brodie "I'm not sure I was cut out for the NFL" Croyle can get him the ball) and Brandon Marshall will look to repeat his impressive rookie season, assuming he stays out of jail. Rookie sensation Adrian Peterson looks to have another great season being the only RB on BU that can actually gain more than 3 yards a carry. And just like an old arcade game being plugged into the wall for the first time in three years, Pacman Jones looks to chomp his way into the starting D and replace the famous former captain Mike Vrabel, that was so ashamed of losing and even more so about having a team named after one of the cheapest beers around left the team for greener pastures...or so he thinks. If Derek Anderson can take some advil and get on the field, or former starter Jay Cutler can get over his cookie addiction...this team might just see two championship games in two years.
posted by DaBulls93 at 9:46 PM
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