Rakeville Times: Gray days for URake

Marshawn Lynch has only thrown one pass this season, but it went for a touchdown. Bledsoe never had him throw again. If he had, would Rakeville be in the playoffs?


Gray Days for URake
By Aviator McShadeless, Rakeville Times

Last week’s loss to last place Arizona not only bounced Rakeville University from the bowl picture, but it also ended the Grays consecutive sellout streak at the Claffey Coliseum.

“I think the novelty has worn off,” said fan Tom Medios. “Students and alumni were just excited to have a national level football team here, but it became pretty clear that they were well out of the bowl hunt. A game against the last place team wasn’t much of a draw.”

URake can rely on injuries as an excuse, but even with their full compliment of players, it is unlikely the Grays would be a top-ranked team.

“We can’t stop offenses, we can’t run the ball. We can’t win games until we are a total team,” said Drew Bledsoe after the week 10 beating. When ask later about the players he will rely on next season, the head coach droned mournfully, “I don’t know who will be back next season. I can’t tell you who is going to start. I’m just looking to next week, then a whole bunch of fishing trips soon after.”

While fishing seems to be on the agenda, URake’s scouting department has been going full steam over the season, looking for recruits for next season. Athletic Director Mike Mizanin has funneled a lot of money into recruitment, not just for football, but for all of URake teams. The gridiron Grays look to benefit the most though.

“We think we’ll be able to sign a top five recruit this offseason,” said Mizanin.

Here in 2007, that is all they have to look forward to.